CURSES! BASEBALL AGAIN!

This is a Baseball thing that i have been working on and off on for a while. I know it's weeks away from Pitchers and Catchers but what the hell, I might have a Football one ready in May.

You know what's great about Baseball, I mean what's really the best?
It's not the stats or the plays! WHO CARES! what makes Baseball the best sport is the CURSES!

OH MY GOD! THE CURSES!

Curses make the game. Curses make the terribly god awful boringest game in the word, bareable. because somewhere in the back of your mind your wondering, "Hey, is today one of those days when the CURSE is in play?"

'Cause the CURSE must be in play. It's not on all the time, just when its important.

Like the Boston Red Sox. THE BOSOX if you will, they couldn't EVER win ANYTHING, EVER. Why? Could it be, THE CURSE! The Red socks have a good one. It's called the Curse of the Bambino or the Babe's Curse. The "Babe" in this instance is Babe Ruth. Some would call him the greatest Baseball player that ever lived. The Babe was a pitcher for the Boston Red Sox when he was traded to the Yankees. This happened way back, when Baseball, was BASEBALL and there was no TV.

The New York Yankees, who where pissing me off then too and I wasn't even born yet, decieded that Babe, if that was his real name, might make a better hitter. I don't know, I know it sounds crazy, lets give it try. HERE BABE HIT THIS FAST BALL! WOW, its outta the park! Wait till the guys in BOSTON here about this!

But they already did... cause BABE said they sucked for trading him and he cursed those bums never to win an world series and they haven't SINCE!

IT'S A CURSE! THEY ARE CURSED! Well they where. Some curses can be broken, in our lifetimes even.

Sure, some are broken, and some, some circle around like a Great White, waiting for a chance to tear a season's leg off and drag it down into the deep dark waters.

The Cubs play great all year long. Last month of the season. It's like every player has turned into a GOAT or something! What's that about? THEY HAVE IT IN THE BAG! ALL YEAR LONG... TERRIFIC. The infield is catching outfiled fly balls cause they can FLY! Pitchers are stopping the ball in midair and moving them with there minds. TELEKINITIC STRIKE OUTS! PEOPLE! WITH THIER MINDS!

Then playoff season is around the bend and it all goes to hell! Why?

IT'S THE CURSE! THEY ARE CURSED!

Cub fans know who the Goat is, thats right, THE GOAT. That's the Cub Curse. The Goat. It goes something like this, Man goes into Wrigley Field with his Goat friend. He is then proceeded to be thrown out on his ass, Goat and all. There is a strict "No Goat, Dammit" policy. "Won't let me have a pleasant afternoon out with my Goat, will they?", thought the Man." I shall show them!" Not to embelish, but there might have been a hand gesture, and the Man then Cursed the Cubs.

The Goat thing is something that I find hilarious because its the 21st Century. I know, still no Flying cars, that is disapointing. Yet, technology has advanced to the point where you can make a call from the airport and schedule pizza to be delivered to the Hotel that you will be staying at before your plane leaves the tarmack!

BEFORE THE PLANE LEAVES THE TARMACK! Don't argue with me... I have done it.

So in this day and age of wonderment and instant pizza delivery, superstition still plays a huge roll, IN BASEBALL!

'Cause the CURSE is REAL and everyone plays it up! COME ON!

Sports annoncers in their booths, all about the taunting of THE CURSE. Egging it on with a simple drop of the, ought to be completely harmless, "You know Bob, player X is doing great tonight! He caught that last fly ball with is teeth, while giving that heart attack victim mouth to mouth. I guess that CURSE is getting a run for its MONEY!"

WRONG! As well we know You never SPEAK ITS NAME! It's like calling a Dog to Dinner! A DEVIL DOG FROM HELL! HERE CURSE! COME AND GET IT! HERE CURSE! and then slapping it in the face with the bloody steak. This is when the Dog tears off your arm and laughs at you while eating it. That's Right! Laughing and eating of your flesh, while laughing.

The announcers always come back from a break with something like this, " Well, Jack, I think you spoke to soon. 'cause the Cubbies just struck out and and the men on 1 and 3 exploded. That's gotta hurt!"

Or even better... THE METS WIN THE WORLD SERIES! Yah i know...It's unbelivable, I think they might be CURSED!

.